Meditations for Black Men is on sale!
Hello all!
I’m writing here after quite some time to update you on the release of my newest title Meditations for Black Men. My audiobook meditation program is now available for sale wherever books are sold!
This latest offering is a continuation of my series on Black men, and my goal of helping men feel seen in a health and wellness space where we aren’t often valued or represented.
You can buy a copy for yourself, or a loved one, by clicking the button below!
And if you’d like to keep up with more of my thoughts and personal essays, please visit my newsletter where I post more routine updates.
New Press Contribution in AskMen on Masculinity
Recently I was asked to share some thoughts on modern masculinity with AskMen. In the post we explore what contemporary masculinity is, can be, and how men can work towards owning their personal sense of masculine identity.
Read the article at this link.
Subscribe to My Newsletter Coffee and Contemplation
Admittedly, I’m not the best at updating my blog here but I wanted to let you know of another avenue to follow my work and writing. In addition to joining me on social media (Instagram: @jorelcaraballo), you can also receive biweekly updates via my newsletter on Substack at https://jorelcaraballo.substack.com/. There you will find more discussion on mental health and my musings about life, as well as read any author related updates!
Visit https://jorelcaraballo.substack.com/ to subscribe and I look forward to your comments and feedback there.
Shadow Work: Demystifying the Helpful, but Arduous 3 Stage Process
*This post contains an affiliate link.
In an earlier post, I wrote about what every beginner should know about shadow work. Today, I want to take it a step further and detail what I think are three main stages of shadow work.
The goal of shadow work is to make the unconscious conscious. You are able to make that connection through consistent effort in reflecting more deeply through practices such as shadow work journal prompts, trauma-informed grounding, and affirmations for self-compassion. The last bit is particularly important as shadow work typically involves contact with less desirable parts of yourself - and, of course, that doesn't always bring out the most hopeful thoughts and feelings for us.
Ultimately, shadow work has a lot of personal value and the goal is to heal parts of yourself that you didn't realize needed healing. Shadow work also helps you work to accept all parts of you because they are, well, part of what makes you YOU.
I think of shadow work as occurring in three main parts: detachment, exploration or growth, and integration.
3 stages of shadow work graphic jorel caraballo
Detachment
Detachment is a stage, or a state, of being disconnected from one's self and experiences. With respect to shadow work, this doesn't just involve being disconnected from feelings in any particular moment in your day, but more so being detached generally from your deep-seated feelings and worries. In my experience, this means also being detached (or often minimizing) the hurt you've experienced throughout different parts of your life.
If you ignore your pain you also miss an opportunity for relief and healing. You can’t heal what doesn’t hurt.
Detachment usually offers you the ability to not feel all the things you don't want to feel. It also affords you the ability of not disrupting the ways in which you like to see yourself, as is often necessary in shadow work.
This is the stage before any actual shadow work begins. It is usually the space we occupy most often and it often feels like discomfort and confusion about your own motivations and reactions. You may realize something isn't quite right but you're not sure what it is or how to go about addressing your concerns.
Exploration
This stage of shadow work is the first active stage of "work." Simply put, this is the work of reflecting more deeply, delving into your memories and making space for unconscious material to come up.
A shadow work workbook will help you by typically offering meditations and journal prompts to dig more deeply. Like most personal development work, it can ebb and flow depending on your capacity and other things going on in your life, and how you prioritize this kind of work.
In this stage you're like to experience a range of emotions like joy and relief, as well as sadness and grief. This stage is all about revealing deeper truths and making important psychological (and/or spiritual) connections. You are likely to learn a great deal about yourself and start to see a clear path towards self-acceptance and healing. That being said, this phase is often very tough to work through, as you might imagine.
Integration
This final stage is all about working to integrate the emotional material revealed in the exploration stage. This means finding a way to apply what you've learned in your reflections into everyday life.
For example, if you were able to learn about your pattern of feeling helpless, integration would look like implementing new ways to use your personal power or agency in situations in your life. That might sound like learning to set boundaries with loved ones or work, for example. Integration could also look like forgiving yourself for past mistakes and learning to live alongside your guilt without letting it completely derail your sense of self. You may adopt a practice of self-compassion to help you work on that. Any of these things can be worked on solo or with the help of a licensed therapist.
When you're in this stage, it can also feel surprisingly tough to adjust to the changes you're making in your life. You will have to deal with how your changes also impact those around you. The really great news is that you will feel a greater sense of ease and inner peace as you accept your imperfection.
I hope this provides some important clarity on what shadow work is and what to expect in the process.
You can learn more by connecting with me on Instagram @jorelcaraballo.
FAQ: What is shadow work?
Shadow work is the process of making the unconscious conscious. It was coined by Carl Jung to help promote internal self-awareness and acceptance.
Rethinking Coping Skills on the Mood Ring Podcast
Do you ever struggle with guilt after using a coping strategy? If so, you're not alone.
I was able to join host Anna Borges on her podcast, Mood Ring, to talk about out sh*tty coping mechanisms and offered some tips on managing guilt and coping in ways that work best for you.
Listen to the episode below!