Self-Care is Not Always Instagrammable - Sometimes it's Just Banal
Self-care has been commodified by the mainstream as a “lifestyle” that’s only right if it’s complete with certain products and gadgets only afforded to those with the most resources. But self-care is so much more than that.
Self-care can Mean Doing Hard Work
Self-care isn’t only about indulging in bath bombs and other luxurious practices. Sometimes it is also very hard work. It can be doing something that you want to do that you know will bring relief (I personally love a long, warm bath to decompress) but might also look like doing things that are far less desirable. We must not forget that self-care is also all the boring, and sometimes hard, stuff that we like to forget like:
Challenging your own negative automatic thoughts
Making yourself exercise when that’s the last thing you want to do
Holding yourself accountable for your problematic behavior and making restitution
Washing your dishes, doing your laundry, etc.
Attending therapy
Scheduling your annual check ups
Doing deep introspection and shadow work
Grocery shopping
Brushing your teeth and showering regularly
Paying your monthly bills
Calling yourself out on your BS
Obviously, these things are a lot less glamorous than the gram would lead us to believe. But, they are also self-care. Not only do they remind us that self-care is self-preservation but it is also progressive. Many of these are the more day to day ways that we take care of ourselves and sometimes that means taking yourself to task.
Self-Care is Also Holding Yourself Accountable
Of course, I don’t generally advocate for people to shame themselves (or others for that matter). For most of us that doesn’t lead to substantive behavioral change. I know that for some, however, that can be motivating in small amounts.
That aside, self-care is also about keeping your word and holding yourself accountable to do the things you said you wanted to do. It’s sometimes saying to yourself, “I know you don’t want to do this but you’ve got to anyway. Let’s go!” It may also sound like, “If you continue to do what you’re doing you’re not going to get where you want to be.”
No shame. Just pragmatic and real.
So by all means, enjoy your CBD bath bombs and down time (I know I will!) but also don’t forget that sometimes showing yourself care means kicking your own butt a bit. We all need that some times.