Korn frontman Jonathan Davis on His Mental Health & Recovery

"It does get better. It takes time." - Jonathan DavisThose are the words of musician Jonathan Davis, known as the frontman for the band Korn. In an interview for the You Rock Foundation, Davis talks about his experiences dealing with anxiety, depression and recovering from trauma.  He also talks briefly about his struggles with substance abuse before getting professional help and how recovery is still a work in progress.This video includes some NSFW language.

Recovering Addicts Share Words of Wisdom on Finding Forgiveness After Treatment

Guest post contributed by Cecelia Johnson.

Forgiveness: it’s easy to want, but not as simple to give. It can be especially difficult when it comes to a former substance abuse problem. Even after someone has found sobriety, it’s not always easy for loved ones to let go of past pain.I had the recent opportunity to speak with addiction treatment graduates who shared their stories about picking up the pieces. Here are a few of their insights on finding sobriety and forgiveness.

It takes time

Few people leave treatment and expect that things will immediately be perfect. Even if you’ve gone through family counseling as part of your rehabilitation, it’s going to be a learning curve for everyone. There are new boundaries and routines to get used to, and for your loved ones, it might take some time to learn to trust you again.“It’s a process. Like anything in life or recovery, it’s a process,” John noted.After finding lasting sobriety at the Treehouse in Texas, John was eager to return home and be the best possible husband and father — but it came in small steps.“I was still around taking care of my kids and being involved with them. Then my wife started to trust me to come home for two nights a week, so I started coming home on weekends,” he recalled.There were a few setbacks and it was tough to be away from his family, but John said he tried to make the most of it.“It sucked,” he admitted, “but at the same time, it allowed me some space to keep working on me. I was able to read more and to journal more. There were some benefits too.”

There may be more going on than you realize

It isn’t always the people who you’ve directly wronged who have trouble forgiving you. For some, it’s their loyalties to others that make them hesitant to trust you again.“One of my friends was really cold to me when I tried to reach out to her when I got sober,” Wendy explained. “I asked her what was wrong, and she said, ‘What’s wrong? You put our friends through so much!’ Even though I never did anything to her, she’s really hurt by what I’ve done to other people.”Wendy said that at first she was crushed, but ultimately she realized her friend had a right to be upset. And all she can do is give her time to heal.“You can’t push it. There’s nothing I can do about people not wanting to make amends. They’ll be ready, or they won’t,” she said.

Your loved ones just might surprise you

For all the people who aren’t ready to forgive, there are often just as many who will be ready. People are often more understanding than we expect them to be, and most have a deep appreciation for someone trying to get their life back on track.“You don’t realize it; you don’t think about it. You just think that you’re so bad, what you’ve done is just so horrible, but there are still people who care,” said Christy, whose friends, family, and neighbors banded together to help fix up her house when she went to treatment.“These people that we barely knew probably have family members, people that they are close to that may be in a similar situation,” she went on. “You don’t realize that other people really can relate. You don’t think that. You don’t know that. But there are a lot of people out there who do understand.”So don’t lose hope. With time comes healing, and often that’s all that people need. Your patience and understanding may be all you can offer right now. In the meantime, focus on rebuilding the relationships you still have — including the one with yourself.

And if you’re the one who is being asked for forgiveness, remember that it’s one of the most priceless, cherished gifts you could ever give to someone. 

Cecelia Johnson believes strongly in the power of good deeds and recognizing great work. That’s why she created RecognitionWorks.org. The site is dedicated to connecting those who’ve been awarded for exemplary work in their communities to companies and organizations that can help them continue their admirable efforts through donations, sponsorships, and gifts. By making these connections, she hopes to build stronger, more altruistic communities and citizens.

An Open Letter to Yankees Ace CC Sabathia

Thank you.

Gratitude was my first reaction to the news that came on October 5, 2015 when you released a statement announcing that you would be entering rehab for alcohol abuse.  After my initial shock and surprise at the announcement, all I could think of was how grateful I was that you made such a public declaration.  While I can only imagine the range of emotions you must have felt to be so publicly vulnerable, I am so thankful that you have chosen to use your status to bring attention to such a devastating issue as substance abuse.  Your family must be so proud of you for stepping up to the plate once again and taking control of what I can only imagine has been a very troubling time in all your lives.

I write “thank you” because I think we will feel the impact of your announcement for years to come. Your vulnerability offers many men an example of how even the strongest of us face difficult times.  As an athlete in our modern era of what seems to be full of overgrown adolescents, you have shown us an example of what courage, authenticity and maturity looks like.  And it is doubly important that you have done this as a Black man.In many communities of color, mental health and substance abuse issues are often swept under the rug.

More often than not, these issues are thought of as "White people problems". I imagine that even with your example, there will still be many who think you are somehow removed from Blackness because you have chosen to seek treatment.  It is a sad reality that we live in.  Thankfully, you have chosen to do what is best for both you and your family.  With that action, you have given many Black men an example of what a strong man looks like. And with less than 9% of all folks who are challenged by alcohol abuse seeking treatment, you taking responsibility for your alcohol abuse speaks volumes.

It is hard for Black men to show vulnerability. As boys we were taught that anger and frustration are the only ways to be a “real man”. As we grow up and mature, we are faced with challenges in relationships that require us to be more present, more open, and more vulnerable. As adults, we can no longer hide in the “tough guy”  paradigm of masculinity. But many of us do. Many of us take on the burden of being a strong man, which we often forget means that we must also be vulnerable and loving to our spouses and families, demonstrate courage and take responsibility for our actions. When challenges cross our paths we often adopt that "we real cool" stance that author Bell Hooks so eloquently wrote about.  This allows us to maintain a façade of enduring strength.

Meanwhile, on the inside we battle our own obstacles in silence. That's what makes your statement so powerful for so many of us. Not only are you an example for people struggling with substance abuse issues, you show all of us what taking responsibility looks like. You show all of us how to embody strength and vulnerability. Your status as a Yankees ace and a public figure means that your declaration has reached so many who have been touched by addiction.As a Yankees fan, I have admired your work on the field. You are a gifted athlete.  Your performance and statistics document your achievements very well.  However, I have to say that I don't think I've ever been in more awe of you as a man than the day you released your public statement of your impending treatment for alcohol abuse.  As a mental health counselor I work with people struggling with addiction. I work with many men who are struggling to live authentic lives in a culture that says that they cannot be vulnerable and that they cannot falter. The pressure to live up to such an incredible standard can be debilitating. Alcohol becomes an escape and a socially acceptable refuge.According to the National Institute of Mental Health, over 6 million men in the United States suffer from depression each year.  According to the Center for Disease Control, men consistently experience higher rates of alcohol related deaths than women in the United States every year. It is estimated that alcohol may be a factor in 50% of suicides. And with people of color accessing mental health services in lower rates than our White counterparts, your statement provides an example of a Black man seeking care. I have no doubt that your journey will serve as a beacon of hope for other men who may be struggling with similar issues.

I am inspired by your honesty and I think that while you face your challenges head on, you've given us the opportunity to pause and take stock of where we are within ourselves. I know I have and I thank you for that.

I'm sure many other people will too. 

Emerging from the Mud: An Opportunity for Recovery and Healing

“Most people are afraid of suffering. But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower of happiness grow. There can be no lotus flower without the mud.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh, No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering

Once you have been diagnosed with a mental health condition, you may experience a variety of feelings.  It can be a confusing time and I have met with clients who have expressed feeling everything from anger and disappointment to relief and peace upon receiving a diagnosis.  While there is still significant stigma around mental health conditions, the realization of a diagnosis can be helpful in explaining what often includes years of suffering in confusion and silence. A diagnosis can often leave a person with a bleak or hopeless perspective, but with hard work and commitment, anyone can recover from mental health problems.

Both medication and talk therapy can be very effective in helping people recover from serious mental health problems. Most people know that. However, what a lot of people don't seem to know is that a lot of progress is made outside of the therapy hour or the psychiatrist's office.

While a solid relationship between a therapist and client can lead to incredible results, a client's commitment to trying new strategies and hope that they may work are also powerful factors in leading to long-lasting fulfillment and recovery.In the therapy hour, a counselor and client collaborate on strategies and coping skills to maneuver through life's challenges. Often times, skills can be practiced in session with an agreement by the client to practice that new skill outside of the therapy hour.  That's where the real challenge lies.

Sitting in the room with your therapist should feel like a safe, and supportive space.  That often makes it a little easier to try new skills or new ways of looking at situations and problems.  While not always easy, it is incredibly helpful to have your own personal coach (therapist) guide you through your newly learned skills.

The problem is that the therapy hour always ends.  From there you re-enter the world.  You engage with your colleagues, your loved ones and strangers and that can all be very stressful.  The real challenge is putting those newly learned skills to the test when it really counts.  Practicing those strategies in the moment is paramount to returning to a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.

Receiving a mental health diagnosis does not have to be the end. For many clients it can be the beginning to a new journey with opportunities, achievements and triumphs.  It can be the blossoming of the lotus emerging from the mud.  Exercising your newly learned skills and putting them into daily practice can be an extremely rewarding experience.  If you do so, rest assured that recovery is absolutely within your grasp.

Bouncing Back from Injury: Recovery in Mental Health

Recovery has become a buzz word for the substance use treatment community for some time now, but the concept also applies to those who have coped with some serious mental illness or have been challenged by a recent episode.To look further into the concept of recovery I think it might be helpful to move, for a moment, outside of the context of mental health and look at a basic definition for some further insight.If you conduct a quick search on Google you will find "recovery" defined as:

1. a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.
2. the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost

I actually find both of those definitions helpful in thinking about mental health.Recovery is a process by which one regains something or fosters the development of an area after an injury.  Athletes recover from injuries.  People, more generally speaking, recovery from stresses like abuse, divorces, hospitalizations and bouts of depression.  In both cases it always takes time and some intervention to recover and heal.Healing can be a long and sometimes painful process.  Just like physical therapy, counseling may be uncomfortable at times but the hope is that, just like an athlete, you can emerge on the other side of the "injury" a healthier and more knowledgeable person. In a word, stronger.Think of the many baseball pitchers who have had to have Tommy John surgery in order to pitch again. Think of Grant Hill and his ankle injury in the early 2000s. Consider Amar'e Stoudemire and his various injuries.  We can learn a lot from athletes.One of the most helpful things you can do to move forward in your recovery is to figure out what your new goals are. Think of the accomplishments you want to achieve over the next six months, one year and two years.Here are some questions you may want to ask yourself as you embark on the new part of your journey:

• How do I see myself after I recover?
• What do I want from life?
• What kind of work would I like to do?
• What kind of family environment would I like to have?
• What gives me energy and excites me? What really is my passion?
• And, how do I achieve these things?

As you begin the exploration and healing process, keep a journal, make lists and break down bigger tasks into smaller, more manageable objectives.  Set yourself up for success! And if you find yourself getting stuck along the way, enlist the help of a knowledgeable family member, loved one, or a third-party like a therapist who can work with you to re-create the life you've been hoping for.  And as Nike says, "Just do it!"