Rethinking Coping Skills on the Mood Ring Podcast
Do you ever struggle with guilt after using a coping strategy? If so, you're not alone.
I was able to join host Anna Borges on her podcast, Mood Ring, to talk about out sh*tty coping mechanisms and offered some tips on managing guilt and coping in ways that work best for you.
Listen to the episode below!
A Psychotherapist's Surprising Reaction to Moon Knight
From time to time I like to react to mainstream conversations of mental health. As I've gone farther along in my career, I find that how we talk and see mental health in the mainstream heavily influences how we (collectively) think about mental health and how people see professional mental health support and therapy. Today, I'm going to be sharing my therapist reaction to the Disney+ show Moon Knight.
My disclaimer
First things first, I have to say that despite my name, I'm not a big comic book fan. I've only read a few in my life but appreciate them as an art form. That being said, I won't be reacting to the authenticity of the show to the source material and how graphic novels move in the culture because I'm totally ignorant to all that, just to put that out there.
A Brief Introduction to Moon Knight
That being said, when I first heard a new show called Moon Knight was going to hit Disney+ I was mildly interested - not because I knew of the source material but mostly because I've seen so many people excited about Oscar Isaac and his work (which I don't think I've seen anything of before Moon Knight, to be honest!). But, I love superhero content and WandaVision was previously a stand out for me as a mental health advocate, superhero fan, and sitcom aficionado.
So I went into Moon Knight not knowing much of anything except for the show centering on Egyptian themes and I heard some rumblings about mental health content, which always piques my interest.
As I started the watch the show in the first couple of episodes, I found it to be pretty standard superhero fare - which is to say, I liked it. There's good action sequences and the characters are very mysterious early on, which is a bit refreshing as I've seen so many characters get a million variations (see: The Batman). Isaac's performance is a great insight into this talent - especially as he switches between the troubled, but lovable Steven Grant and the mysterious mercenary Marc Spector.
*spoilers are ahead*
Moon Knight and Dissociative Identity Disorder
I recently saw Oscar Isaac on Stephen Colbert and heard him talk about the character struggling with mental illness and DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). I took a bit of issue with this in the earlier episodes especially as the relationship between Marc and Steven is framed as a connection forced by Khonshu, rather than something inherent to Steven's psyche. At least, this was my interpretation. If it's some spiritual/mythological kind of possession, it couldn't really be considered DID, right?
Well, I've just finished episode 5 titled "Asylum" and things make a lot more sense.
We learn that not only is Khonshu not responsible for the split/connection between Steven and Marc, we learn that the relationship between the two predates everything we've seen in the series so far. We learn that not only is their relationship one forged by grief and trauma (and is true DID) but we also learn that Steven is an alter (an alternate personality) and Marc is the OG personality and psyche.
*mind blown*
In the episode we witness how Marc came to develop the persona of Steven as a new way to feel fearless and grounded in his day to day life. Steven was created by Marc in response to the incredibly traumatic loss of a younger brother when he was a child and the lingering trauma of living with an abusive (and grieving) mother and a father who was, apparently, just trying to do his best. We learn that the recent breakdown of the alter/primary relationship is because Marc's mother has recently just died.
These revelations also make sense of the relationship between Marc and Layla, who early on in the series is insistent that Marc drop the act (of being his British version Steven) and explain his vanishing from her life with no explanation.
Clip source: Moon Knight via Disney+ YouTube
What Moon Knight represents well with DID
First of all, DID is very rare with prevalence hovering around .01% up to 2% worldwide according to various sources (like here and here). Here are a few things that Moon Knight seems to get right (so far):
DID is often represented by distinct personality states - although most folks have multiple alters (Jane on Doom Patrol captures this well)
Dissociative amnesia (memory loss) during episodes is common (we see this early on as Steven struggles with sleeplessness and episodes of amnesia, particularly at night)
Created personalities tend to offer places of psychic refuge and protection for the primary personality or host (Steven helps Marc avoid his traumatic past and abuse)
Healing and treatment is often marked by an attempt to integrate or balance the personalities (as referenced in the journey on the boat with Taweret in episode 5)
What comes next?
Now that the show has broken the dam, so to speak. I imagine that we won't get a lot more content or background on DID. As a therapist, especially one who appreciates shadow work, I think this episode did a great job at showing the journey from unconsciousness to consciousness and working towards integration of the different parts of self, which I think is something that most people could connect to (rather than DID, given how rare it is). We all have parts of us that we hide, consciously or unconsciously, and that impacts how we think and act. Services like shadow work help make meaning of this kind of material.
I think from here, it's likely that even though we witness the death(?) of Steven in the episode we will likely see an integration of Steven and Marc, which will allow them to get back to the superhero business at hand and prevent Harrow from fully releasing Ammit and finding some sort control in the relationship with Khonshu.
This is, of course, all speculation on my part and I have no idea what's like to come next! That's the best part of watching this kind of show. When you step into a whole new world, you never know quite what to expect. The point I love about stories (in writing, tv and film, etc.) is that maybe it affords a helpful place to think about our own stories with mental health...and be well entertained in the meantime.
Are you watching Moon Knight? What do you think of the show and its portrayal of mental illness?
What to Consider Before Starting Therapy
Any counselor or therapist worth their salt will tell you that therapy is not an easy process. Often clients come in with the hope of finding clarity, insight or peace. While this is in line with my personal counseling philosophy, achieving those things often involves delving into painful thoughts and negative feelings at times.That being said, therapy is an investment. It's both an investment of your time and energy. The hope and goal should be to establish a net gain that makes delving into the complexities of your life all worth it. There are, however, a few things you should consider before entering therapy:
The therapist
It is widely known in the counseling community that the single most important contributor to success in your counseling process is the relationship between you and your therapist. That means that you should exercise your discretion in choosing who you think will be a good fit for you. Do your research! Look at your potential therapist's website and social media accounts to get a feel about who they are and their perspective on therapy. Here are some possible things to consider:
What is their philosophy on mental health? What kind of treatment do they offer? Do they have times available that are convenient for you? Do they have the appropriate training, education and licensure?
Cost & Value
I've included both cost and value of therapy as potential things to consider. While some use these terms interchangeably, I think there's a bit of nuance to unpack, especially when considering the personal investment that is therapy. I tend to think of cost as the bare bones dollar amount that you pay for a service. Basically, can you afford this therapist's hourly rate based on your income? If not, do they offer a sliding scale for people with lower incomes? Conversely, value refers to the actual financial cost versus your potential therapist's training and specialty. More simply put, do you feel this potential therapist is worth what they charge?
Location
You won't make it to your regular appointments if it's horribly inconvenient for you to do so. Does your potential new therapist work out of a convenient office location? Again, value comes into play here. If your therapist is a little out of the way, do you think their services are worth the extra trip?
PS If your therapist's office is inconvenient for some reason, you may want to inquire about Skype or online therapy services.Time. Do you have the time to commit to weekly meetings? What about twice monthly? Is your potential therapist flexible enough to meet your scheduling needs? If not, then you should likely ask for a referral to another provider.