Does your child need help?
Over the years, in my practice, I have witnessed the longstanding effects of unresolved trauma in both younger and older adults. For some families, the parents just aren't sure that their children might need psychological assistance while others may experience barriers to accessing appropriate care. Sometimes therapy isn't considered as a viable option because parents may not realize how helpful child therapists can be in helping set up their children for better and brighter futures. And let's admit it, "therapy" is a culturally daunting word wrought with baggage and stigma.
As a parent you have spent months, or even years, trying to control or manage your child's behaviors to no avail. You may feel like you have failed in some way, but that's not true. Making the wise choice to take action and get help for your little one is the most caring and healing thing you can offer them.Sometimes children exhibit problem behavior and emotional challenges that are of particular concern to parents and guardians. Early intervention is the key to potentially preventing more serious mental health issues in the future and can help foster a deeper, more communicative bond between a family. Identifying the problem and seeking professional support is the key to fostering a healthier child who may be experiencing emotional difficulties.
It can be difficult to decide whether or not your child may need support for behavioral or mental health issues. One of the most common indicators that your child may be in trouble is problematic behavior. This may include behaviors observed at home and/or at school.For the most part, young children haven't yet developed the language to adequately describe and express their feelings. This can often leave parents feeling like they're in the dark about what's going on with their children. Here are some indicators that your child's behavior might require professional attention:
Your child displays frequent aggression towards people and/or animals
Your child frequently loses their temper
S/he destroys property
S/he blames others for their mistakes
S/he refuses to obey rules
S/he routinely skips school
Bed wetting (especially alarming in post-potty age children)
Changes in your child's sleep or appetite
Your child routinely stays out late past curfew
S/he has stolen property
Your child has ongoing difficulty in social situations, maintaining work or staying in school
If you observe these behaviors in your child, do not be afraid to ask for help. Seek out a local therapist or professional counselor who specializes in working with children. They will work with your child to help them embrace and develop age-appropriate behavior and help them understand the impact their behavior has on others.For more information on child and adolescent mental health you can visit this page by the National Institute on Mental Health.
At The Movies: 'Inside Out'
This past week I had the chance to check out the new movie 'Inside Out' which has garnered a lot of attention as a kids' movie, but is really anything but. There's definitely a lot to gain from this film for everyone.
The story centers around an 11-year-old girl named Riley and her emotions; Joy, Fear, Disgust, Anger and Sadness. The emotions are voiced by some beloved actors of our time with Amy Poehler voicing Joy, Bill Hader as Fear, Phyllis Smith as Sadness, Mindy Kaling as Disgust and Lewis Black as Anger. The casting is genius and makes for a lot of funny moments as the story chugs along.
Without giving too much away of the film, there are plenty of heartwarming moments to be enjoyed here too. And while the movie is animated, it's not just about entertaining the kids. As a mental health professional, I was surprised and delighted how 'Inside Out' took on the task of explaining emotions and how we often try to work through them. As much of the film is spent inside Riley's brain, you get a good sense of how her emotions work together, and sometimes fight, to have their own needs met. There's rationalization and denial at points and by the end you're left with a much fuller picture of how emotions are regulated and how they impact our lives and memories.
'Inside Out' is a really powerful film for both kids and adults and I've heard a few parents with young children say they still felt it was appropriate for their children. It's a lovely film that had me thinking a lot about my own emotions and how they play a role in memories and I hope it will do the same for you if you choose to go see it. I'm not surprised by how well the movie has performed at the box office and I have pretty much recommended that everyone I know go see it as I was really struck by the warmth and honesty of this "kids' movie". There's also a short film called 'Lava' which precedes 'Inside Out' that serves as a sufficiently emotional primer to what's in store ahead.
At its least, 'Inside Out' is family entertainment but at its best it is both therapeutic and cathartic making it a Trojan horse of a movie for all to enjoy. If you would like to read a little bit more on the film (warning: there are some pretty BIG spoilers ahead!) then you can check out an article titled The Science of 'Inside Out' which was recently posted in the New York Times.
What is PTSD?
Posttraumatic stress disorder (or PTSD for short) has become a more widely recognized mental health condition in recent decades, but what is PTSD? I hope to provide you with some basic and insightful information below.PTSD was originally a term applied to soldiers returning from war, but it wasn't always called PTSD as it is today. Previously, the cluster of symptoms was categorized as "shell shock" or "soldier's heart". Thankfully, psychology began to recognize that not only soldiers could experience posttraumatic stress disorder and began to more acutely study and accurately define a condition that affects about 8 million people each year in the United States. PTSD can be a crippling condition but can be treated effectively with a supportive therapist.But what is PTSD exactly? The current criteria for PTSD include the following:
- Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violence
- Symptoms following the event such as intrusive memories, recurring dreams, flashbacks or other bodily reactions to cues related to the event
- Avoidance of things associated with the event (for example: similar or actual location, people or related feelings or thoughts)
- A generally negative change in thoughts or mood following the event(s)
- Changes in level of reactivity or heightened arousal beginning or worsening after the event(s) (for example: being startled very easily, feeling "on edge" or having difficult sleeping)
All these symptoms must be met for a period longer than a month and must occur following the activating event(s). Traditionalists typically view the development of PTSD as very rigid and involving "serious bodily injury", however myself, and many contemporary therapists, also view longstanding physical and emotional abuse as potential experiences leading up to the development of PTSD.Additionally, historically PTSD was thought to only affect those with direct experience of the event(s) but current criteria indicates that people who have witnessed, or know a close family or loved one being harmed, may experience PTSD as well.So what type of events do we think of relating to PTSD?
- Directly experienced the event(s) or witnessed the event(s)
- Had serious physical injury from the event(s)
- You believed you or a family member (or loved one) was in serious danger during the event(s)
- You felt helpless or otherwise had a severe reaction to the event(s) such as shaking, crying, or feeling apart from the surrounding area
Given the presented criteria, you can see how many of us in the totality of our life experiences could potentially be affected by PTSD at some point in our lives. If you believe you or someone you love might be dealing with the criteria mentioned above, I recommend you seek out consultation with a therapist to discuss ongoing support. Even if you don't meet the diagnostic criteria of PTSD, there is always room to be healthier and feel liberated from experiences that may be haunting you or limiting your progress in life.
Emerging from the Mud: An Opportunity for Recovery and Healing
“Most people are afraid of suffering. But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower of happiness grow. There can be no lotus flower without the mud.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh, No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering
Once you have been diagnosed with a mental health condition, you may experience a variety of feelings. It can be a confusing time and I have met with clients who have expressed feeling everything from anger and disappointment to relief and peace upon receiving a diagnosis. While there is still significant stigma around mental health conditions, the realization of a diagnosis can be helpful in explaining what often includes years of suffering in confusion and silence. A diagnosis can often leave a person with a bleak or hopeless perspective, but with hard work and commitment, anyone can recover from mental health problems.
Both medication and talk therapy can be very effective in helping people recover from serious mental health problems. Most people know that. However, what a lot of people don't seem to know is that a lot of progress is made outside of the therapy hour or the psychiatrist's office.
While a solid relationship between a therapist and client can lead to incredible results, a client's commitment to trying new strategies and hope that they may work are also powerful factors in leading to long-lasting fulfillment and recovery.In the therapy hour, a counselor and client collaborate on strategies and coping skills to maneuver through life's challenges. Often times, skills can be practiced in session with an agreement by the client to practice that new skill outside of the therapy hour. That's where the real challenge lies.
Sitting in the room with your therapist should feel like a safe, and supportive space. That often makes it a little easier to try new skills or new ways of looking at situations and problems. While not always easy, it is incredibly helpful to have your own personal coach (therapist) guide you through your newly learned skills.
The problem is that the therapy hour always ends. From there you re-enter the world. You engage with your colleagues, your loved ones and strangers and that can all be very stressful. The real challenge is putting those newly learned skills to the test when it really counts. Practicing those strategies in the moment is paramount to returning to a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.
Receiving a mental health diagnosis does not have to be the end. For many clients it can be the beginning to a new journey with opportunities, achievements and triumphs. It can be the blossoming of the lotus emerging from the mud. Exercising your newly learned skills and putting them into daily practice can be an extremely rewarding experience. If you do so, rest assured that recovery is absolutely within your grasp.
Mindfulness in Just 10 Minutes Per Day
As you enter your weekend I wanted to share with you this clip from mindfulness expert Andy Puddicombe. In this TED talk, Puddicombe talks about how just taking a few minutes out of each day to sit in quiet reflection can work wonders for you mind and spirit. This is mindfulness for a new generation. Check it out!