GayWrites Talks Being LGBT & in Therapy
Therapy is often a confusing and difficult process for a lot of people. The biggest part of the battle for some folks in just getting in the door. And if you identify as LGBTQ+ you may also have to consider if you are able to find an affirmative provider. When I came across the video from YouTube creator GayWrites below, I thought it would be a good clip to share here. In this 7+ minuted clip you'll get a sense of what kinds of therapy are out there and how you might go about finding, and paying for therapy.
Check it out below!
Are LGBT Rights About to Get Trumped?
Written by guest contributor and author Lee Schubert.
The day after the presidential election, suicide prevention hotlines lit up all across the country, as LGBT people expressed their panic about what a Trump presidency will mean for the future of their freedoms. The fear is real and palpable and understandable. But it may also be somewhat exaggerated and premature. In reality, Donald Trump himself has not said a lot of negative things about either sexual orientation or gender identity. Nor is he as conservative as many people think he is. The conservatives are well aware of that, though liberals tend to throw him into the same bag as Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. And whatever Trump’s actual goals turn out to be, there are serious limits to the power of the president. We also have the courts and Congress. And even though the Republicans have majorities in both houses, those majorities are not very wide and many Republicans are not about to fall lock-step behind this political newcomer.
Not that there is no cause for concern. There are several reasons to worry about a Trump administration. The broadest one is the general tone of intolerance that Trump projected throughout the campaign. He did not seem to care a lot about people who are not white, male, and Christian. It is not a big stretch to add “straight” to that list. And whatever his own views may be, some of his supporters may view his victory as license for discrimination and even violence. There was some very disturbing evidence of this in the wake of the election.Another cause for concern is the people Trump will be surrounding himself with. First there is Mike Pence. In addition to being generally more conservative, the vice-president-elect has a seriously poor record on LGBT issues.
Then there are the various appointees in the administration. Just as an example, there is some fear that Betsy DeVos (Trump’s choice to head the Department of Education) will roll back the effort to stop bullying and advance the safety of gay and transgender students. And of course there is the big issue of who Trump will appoint to the Supreme Court. He will be under great pressure from conservatives in both his administration and Congress to choose a justice who would vote to limit LGBT rights in some key ways. Since our next president has never held public office, there is no way to know how susceptible he will be to the influence of those around him, though during his campaign he did tend to do things his own way.
Now let us turn from generalizations to how a Trump presidency might affect some particular issues of concern to the LGBT community. Probably the two biggest issues are marriage equality and transgender bathrooms. Trump has been hard to pin down on either of these, changing positions and equivocating. In both cases, he seems to like the idea of ducking the question by saying it should be left to the individual states. This is not the worst position from a LGBT perspective, since at least it would not involve the kind of discrimination by the federal government exhibited in the dreadful Defense of Marriage Act. But it would still allow discrimination by individual states. What most LGBT people want is equal rights guaranteed throughout the country. And that ultimately depends on the Supreme Court. Therefore these two extremely important issues will be especially dependent on who is nominated (and confirmed) to sit on that court.
There are various other types of discrimination against LGBT people who might be more likely under the new administration. One type is discrimination on religious grounds. Religious organizations sometimes claim that they should not have to hire people, such as gays and lesbians, whose behavior violates their religious beliefs. Recently even businesses have claimed the right not to employ or do business with such people. Since the legalization of same-sex marriage, some people have refused to provide cakes or other goods or services related to weddings, based on their religious beliefs. During the Obama administration, the trend has been not to allow that type of discrimination, despite the religious freedom arguments. Trump has given some indications that he might be more sympathetic toward the religious freedom arguments.
The fear of increased discrimination is further fueled by the fact that Mike Pence has opposed anti-discrimination legislation designed to protect LGBT people. He was also opposed to allowing gays in the military, and some fear a possible return to the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” era, though a reversal on that would be very difficult to engineer.Because of Trump’s interest in limiting immigration, there is concern that changes in policy might interfere with marriage for international couples and with the treatment of LGBT people seeking asylum from persecution in their home countries. Another possible target of an anti-gay backlash is adoption by same-sex couples. There are also certain medical areas that could be impacted. “Conversion therapy,” or the attempt to treat gay people by making them straight, has been generally rejected by mental health professionals. But in the past Mike Pence advocated it, and some fear that it might come back into use.
Another medical issue arises from the likelihood that Obamacare will be repealed or at least massively overhauled. It does not allow discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity and that has been extremely important for transgender people, who previously often had great difficulty obtaining certain types of health care. So there it is. On one hand, there is a very real possibility that the Trump presidency will create some serious problems for many in the LGBT community. On the other, it is much too soon to predict the type of wholesale oppression that many in the LGBT community fear. On balance, rather than assuming the worst, we would do better to wait until we see what particular changes are proposed and then fight to defend whatever rights of LGBT people are actually being threatened.
Lee Schubert is the author of Woman Incognito.
Lady Gaga Opens Up About Living with PTSD
Performer Lady Gaga recently opened up about living with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The condition affects about 8 million US adults each year (US Department of Veteran Affairs). Lady Gaga recently penned an open letter for her Born This Way Foundation that I am sharing here in its entirety to help those who may be living with PTSD.
She writes:
"I have wrestled for some time about when, how and if I should reveal my diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). After five years of searching for the answers to my chronic pain and the change I have felt in my brain, I am finally well enough to tell you. There is a lot of shame attached to mental illness, but it’s important that you know that there is hope and a chance for recovery.It is a daily effort for me, even during this album cycle, to regulate my nervous system so that I don’t panic over circumstances that to many would seem like normal life situations. Examples are leaving the house or being touched by strangers who simply want to share their enthusiasm for my music.
I also struggle with triggers from the memories I carry from my feelings of past years on tour when my needs and requests for balance were being ignored. I was overworked and not taken seriously when I shared my pain and concern that something was wrong. I ultimately ended up injured on the Born This Way Ball. That moment and the memory of it has changed my life forever. The experience of performing night after night in mental and physical pain ingrained in me a trauma that I relive when I see or hear things that remind me of those days.
I also experience something called dissociation which means that my mind doesn’t want to relive the pain so “I look off and I stare” in a glazed over state. As my doctors have taught me, I cannot express my feelings because my pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that controls logical, orderly thought) is overridden by the amygdala (which stores emotional memory) and sends me into a fight or flight response. My body is in one place and my mind in another. It’s like the panic accelerator in my mind gets stuck and I am paralyzed with fear.
When this happens I can’t talk. When this happens repeatedly, it makes me have a common PTSD reaction which is that I feel depressed and unable to function like I used to. It’s harder to do my job. It’s harder to do simple things like take a shower. Everything has become harder. Additionally, when I am unable to regulate my anxiety, it can result in somatization, which is pain in the body caused by an inability to express my emotional pain in words.
But I am a strong and powerful woman who is aware of the love I have around me from my team, my family and friends, my doctors and from my incredible fans who I know will never give up on me. I will never give up on my dreams of art and music. I am continuing to learn how to transcend this because I know I can. If you relate to what I am sharing, please know that you can too.
Traditionally, many associate PTSD as a condition faced by brave men and women that serve countries all over the world. While this is true, I seek to raise awareness that this mental illness affects all kinds of people, including our youth. I pledge not only to help our youth not feel ashamed of their own conditions, but also to lend support to those servicemen and women who suffer from PTSD. No one’s invisible pain should go unnoticed.
I am doing various modalities of psychotherapy and am on medicine prescribed by my psychiatrist. However, I believe that the most inexpensive and perhaps the best medicine in the world is words. Kind words…positive words…words that help people who feel ashamed of an invisible illness to overcome their shame and feel free. This is how I and we can begin to heal. I am starting today, because secrets keep you sick. And I don’t want to keep this secret anymore.
A note from my psychologist, Dr. Nancy: ‘If you think you might have PTSD, please seek professional help. There is so much hope for recovery. Many people think that the event that stimulated PTSD needs to be the focus. Yet often, people will experience the same event and have completely different reactions to it. It is my opinion that trauma occurs in an environment where your feelings and emotional experience are not valued, heard and understood. The specific event is not the cause of traumatic experience. This lack of a “relational home” for feelings is the true cause of traumatic experience.
Finding support is key.
Click here or visit the National Institute for Mental Health for more information on PTSD in all its forms and where to find help. If you are in crisis now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8225)."
The Impact of Legislating Discrimination
Representatives in the House and Senate in Tennessee have moved to implement Bill 1840 (Amended Senate Bill 1556) which has far-reaching consequences for consumers seeking mental health services in the state. This marks an ongoing trend of anti-LGBT and so-called "religious freedom" efforts across the United States.
With increased visibility often comes increased hate and backlash. Many states have started to bring up bills to vote based on fear and ignorance under the guise of religious freedom. Most notable as of late are Mississippi and North Carolina's so-called "bathroom bills". Both are based on the egregious and uninformed notion that trans people are sexual predators who will sexually prey on women and children in public restrooms (favor for such bills ignores the potential of male victims altogether). Never mind that most sexual abusers are known to the victim and have regular access to the people that they abuse. According to the U.S. Department of Justice's 2013 National Crime Victimization Study 82% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger. Given that, it seems like there's no real need for so-called bathroom/locker room "protection".
Recently, Tennessee decided to allow professional counselors to deny services to consumers whose views oppose the counselor's own "sincerely held principles" (originally worded "religious beliefs"). This bill, to my understanding, has been given to the governor for approval. You wouldn't want to work with a counselor who doesn't support who you are or your identity, right? Sure. But what if your options were limited and you needed help now? Where would you turn?This kind of legislation may pose a bigger problem than you think. Here are some startling statistics to consider:
In 2014, approximately 43 million Americans lived with a diagnosable mental illness (SAMHSA, 2014).
The economic impact of untreated mental illness in any given year in the United States is in excess of 100 Billion Dollars (NAMI, 2006).
As of 2010, approximately 246,000 adults live with serious mental illness in the state of Tennessee (NAMI State Advocacy 2010).
According to McIntosh (2009) 874 Tennesseans died by suicide in 2006 (NAMI State Advocacy 2010).
According to "Grading the States 2009: A Report on America's Health Care System for Adults with Serious Mental Illness", public emotional health services only treat 34% of adults in the state of Tennessee who live with serious mental illness (NAMI State Advocacy 2010).
What does this all mean? With about 20% of Americans dealing with mental health issues every year, you can imagine the impact of a bill like 1840 in Tennessee which allows for counselors to deny services based on "sincerely held principles". Many who need licensed professional help and may be living in crisis aren't being reached. Those not in crisis, with limited support options may go untreated. Legislation such as Tennessee Bill 1840 (Senate Bill 1556) only serves to add yet another barrier to those in need of support.
Consider this scenario: You're a 19-year-old young man living in small, rural Tennessee town. You've recently come to terms with your being gay and feel very isolated in your community. You have limited access to finances and transportation and your parents are unsupportive. You realize that you need someone to speak to. You reach out to a licensed counselor in your area for help because lately you have been having thoughts of suicide. You call this counselor and let him or her know what you're struggling with and they say, "I don't believe in homosexuality so I'm afraid I can't help you."' You can imagine that impact on those words on a depressed man. There is no hope that you can get the help that you need. There is no escape to your suffering, not even from a person whose mission is to help. You have may no other options.Lives are at stake here. The quality of someone's life is at stake when they're reaching out to mental health services like therapy. Without ongoing support they may continue to struggle in isolation, see their health and conditions worsen and possibly even resort to suicide. This is the impact of legalizing discrimination. It should be noted that the current version of the bill prohibits counselors from denying services to someone who is actively suicidal.
Not only does 1840 violate the ethics of most professional counseling associations, it also opens up concerns of liability and complications for issues of malpractice if laws like this stand. That's not to mention that this new proposed law would even go as far as to also bar the counselor's professional body, such as the American Counseling Association, from holding the counselor responsible for an ethics violation. Of course, you wouldn't want for a young gay man to be working with someone who doesn't "agree" with his sexuality. That's obviously not ideal for that client. However, if your options are limited and your mental health is a matter of life and death immediate support and intervention can be critical to someone who is otherwise isolated and struggling. My fear is that legalizing these kind of efforts allows for a very slippery slope in the high standard which we should hold fellow counselors. Mental health issues are a public epidemic and with bills like 1840 in Tennessee coming to fruition, I can only imagine how dire circumstances may become for so many who are struggling day in and day out to live healthier lives. Bills like these also further contribute to the ongoing stigma that many oppressed communities face, especially when trying to seek care.
With increased mainstream visibility of LGBTQ issues, it seems that some are dedicated to promoting legislation that not only promotes discrimination, but like Tennessee, limit care to those who truly need it. Please urge your local legislators to take mental health care seriously and make a conscious decision to make supportive care MORE accessible and affordable. Without our unified voices, I fear that the state of the country's mental health will only worsen and we simply can't afford that to happen.
There are many more bills popping up across the country with reference LGBTQ communities. Huffington Post's "Everything You Need To Know About The Wave Of 100+ Anti-LGBT Bills Pending In States" provides a lot of great insight on the status of such bills.
One Man's Story of Suicide
Approximately every 40 seconds someone dies of suicide around the world (source).
As a therapist, I've worked with clients who struggle with thoughts of suicide. Some even have histories of attempts. When you feel like you're constantly engulfed in the shadow of depression and hopelessness, suicide can appear to be a viable option to escape the pain and emotional turmoil. Feelings of isolation and loneliness can further attribute to the risk of suicide. Helping people work through that pain and isolation is one of the reasons I've decided to become a therapist and why I find it to be such fulfilling work.It's not often that people let us see behind the curtain of suicide, especially not in a very public forum like YouTube. When I stumbled upon the video titled "My Suicide Story" by vlogger Travis Bryant, I was struck by his honesty and willingness to share so much of his story publicly. I felt that many of you out there might be able to relate to his story of coming out and coping with thoughts of hopelessness and suicide.
If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, there are resources that you can reach out to that can help you RIGHT NOW. Here are a few that I think you might find helpful:
National Suicide Prevention Line: 1.800.273.8255
Trevor Project (LGBT youth and young adults): 1.866.488.7386
LIFENET (New York City): 1.800.543.3638
Trans Lifeline (for trans & gender non-conforming adults): 1.877.565.8860 (USA), 1.877.330.6366 (Canada)