Redefining Help: How to Become an Effective Caregiver
There are many different ways to become an effective caregiver. When it comes to supporting someone with mental health issues like anxiety or depression help can take on many different forms. There is no one right way to offer support to someone who may be suffering. But, there are some basic ideas to keep in mind if you're trying your best to help someone that you care about.
Presence and persistence are key
If you have ever suffered with depression or anxiety, then you may know how pervasive and debilitating these conditions can be. They are persistent and insidious. They often turn seemingly innocuous comments or questions into backhanded slights. Everyday tasks can turn into burdensome or debilitating events. Anxiety and depression can leave you overwrought with frustration and agitation. If someone you love is going through this, don't give up. Do your best to out live and out run their diagnosis. Your persistence in being there will be incredibly healing.
Deal with your own emotions and fight caregiver burnout
One of the most difficult parts of supporting someone who may be dealing with mental health issues, especially someone that you are close to, is that it can also have an emotionally draining impact on you as a caregiver.Being close to someone coping with mental health issues is tough, especially when you are there, day in and day out, doing what you can to offer your support. At times you may feel frustrated that they aren't quite able to get better or take the steps you feel are necessary for their health and recovery. Sometimes this can lead to feelings of anger and resentment. And it goes without saying that it is tremendously difficult to continue to see someone you love suffer. It's a special kind of emotional torture, in a way.Because emotionally supporting someone can be so tough, many caregivers struggle with "burnout", often referred to as compassion fatigue in the psychological community. As a caregiver, make sure that you are practicing emotional awareness and good self care as much as possible. This will also help you continue to offer the best support to your loved one that you can.
Focus more on the person & less on the "problem"
It is a noble cause to help rid a loved one of their anxiety or depression and it's hard to watch someone you love suffer. It's always wise to share resources and offer practical strategies to help alleviate their suffering. However, it is with a word of caution that I encourage you to focus less on the problem (i.e. the anxious or depressive feelings) and focus more on the person themselves. Show them that you care about them and not just their condition or illness. Don't only talk about their difficulties but show up as you would for any other friend or loved one.Have fun dates together. Go to amusement parks. Join a book club together. Break bread. Show them that your relationship with them is greater than any difficulty they may be facing. This kind of support and just 'being there' can be an incredibly strong source of energy and support that your loved one may need in their recovery.Often, in our lives, we can get very busy and bogged down with the details of everyday life. When you're close to someone who is struggling with mental health issues, it can be difficult to find your way in providing support while also taking care of your other daily responsibilities. It is important to remember, no matter how bad things may get, that there are things that you can do to continue offering your care and compassion. Helping isn't one easily identifiable strategy. I hope that these thoughts will help you do what you can to help support both yourself and a loved one as you continue to move forward in your journeys together.