Helping the Helpers: Why Physicians Die by Suicide
As a culture, we often look at doctors as our everyday heroes. They are there for us in our most troubling times, helping us survive through disaster or helping us cope with the horrors of illness and what it means to be human. Doctors, in particular, have been a part of all our lives at some point. They helped us or our loved ones combat symptoms of an illness, heal our sick children and are typically the first of those around us to witness our grieving. What happens when doctors are the ones trying to battle through illness and grief themselves?
Why Physicians Die by Suicide: Lessons Learned from their Families and Others Who Cared by Dr. Michael Myers gives us insight into the realities of mental health issues in doctors. What we learn from this text is that those who are sworn by oath to "do no harm" often find themselves doing harm to themselves by not receiving adequate mental health care.
Surprisingly, there is a lot of stigma when it comes to doctors accessing professional mental health support. Whether it's therapy or medication, doctors can sometimes struggle to battle through the same stigma that the rest of us face when we encounter mental health challenges. In addition, since they are so heavily invested in the role of healer and problem solver, there is an added pressure to keep their mental health issues quiet, powering through in order to be the overachievers and perfectionists that school and training have often taught them to be. After all, in their professions lives are at stake daily. In Myers' estimation, it seems that doctors forget that their lives are at stake too.
In Why Physicians Die by Suicide: Lessons Learned from Families and Others Who Cared, Myers shares of his personal connection to suicide. He lost a young colleague, and roommate, by the name of Bill early on in his medical career to suicide. It's no doubt that this experience has influenced Myers' trajectory and passion about de-stigmatizing mental health issues for medical doctors. In his book, he also shares stories and vignettes from doctors and other family members of those who have dealt with depression and suicide. The anecdotes are staggering, and are reminiscent of some of the conversations I have with family members who have loved ones who struggle with thoughts of suicide.
It's difficult to talk about suicide in any context. Many therapists and mental health professionals struggle with that as well. This is exactly why we need a book like Why Physicians Die by Suicide. We have to continue to de-stigmatize the realities that people of all walks of life can be dealing with depressive thoughts and or suicidal thoughts and plans. Myers warns us that we also have to be particularly watchful of our doctors because they can often find very creative ways to mask their depression and other mental health challenges. As a therapist, this is an eye-opening text and will absolutely change the way that I think about my work with those in the helping professions who often find themselves giving so much to their clients and patients.
Why Physicians Die by Suicide: Lessons Learned from Families and Others Who Cared is available for purchase at most major book retailers such as Barnes and Noble and Amazon.
Redefining Help: How to Become an Effective Caregiver
There are many different ways to become an effective caregiver. When it comes to supporting someone with mental health issues like anxiety or depression help can take on many different forms. There is no one right way to offer support to someone who may be suffering. But, there are some basic ideas to keep in mind if you're trying your best to help someone that you care about.
Presence and persistence are key
If you have ever suffered with depression or anxiety, then you may know how pervasive and debilitating these conditions can be. They are persistent and insidious. They often turn seemingly innocuous comments or questions into backhanded slights. Everyday tasks can turn into burdensome or debilitating events. Anxiety and depression can leave you overwrought with frustration and agitation. If someone you love is going through this, don't give up. Do your best to out live and out run their diagnosis. Your persistence in being there will be incredibly healing.
Deal with your own emotions and fight caregiver burnout
One of the most difficult parts of supporting someone who may be dealing with mental health issues, especially someone that you are close to, is that it can also have an emotionally draining impact on you as a caregiver.Being close to someone coping with mental health issues is tough, especially when you are there, day in and day out, doing what you can to offer your support. At times you may feel frustrated that they aren't quite able to get better or take the steps you feel are necessary for their health and recovery. Sometimes this can lead to feelings of anger and resentment. And it goes without saying that it is tremendously difficult to continue to see someone you love suffer. It's a special kind of emotional torture, in a way.Because emotionally supporting someone can be so tough, many caregivers struggle with "burnout", often referred to as compassion fatigue in the psychological community. As a caregiver, make sure that you are practicing emotional awareness and good self care as much as possible. This will also help you continue to offer the best support to your loved one that you can.
Focus more on the person & less on the "problem"
It is a noble cause to help rid a loved one of their anxiety or depression and it's hard to watch someone you love suffer. It's always wise to share resources and offer practical strategies to help alleviate their suffering. However, it is with a word of caution that I encourage you to focus less on the problem (i.e. the anxious or depressive feelings) and focus more on the person themselves. Show them that you care about them and not just their condition or illness. Don't only talk about their difficulties but show up as you would for any other friend or loved one.Have fun dates together. Go to amusement parks. Join a book club together. Break bread. Show them that your relationship with them is greater than any difficulty they may be facing. This kind of support and just 'being there' can be an incredibly strong source of energy and support that your loved one may need in their recovery.Often, in our lives, we can get very busy and bogged down with the details of everyday life. When you're close to someone who is struggling with mental health issues, it can be difficult to find your way in providing support while also taking care of your other daily responsibilities. It is important to remember, no matter how bad things may get, that there are things that you can do to continue offering your care and compassion. Helping isn't one easily identifiable strategy. I hope that these thoughts will help you do what you can to help support both yourself and a loved one as you continue to move forward in your journeys together.
Korn frontman Jonathan Davis on His Mental Health & Recovery
"It does get better. It takes time." - Jonathan DavisThose are the words of musician Jonathan Davis, known as the frontman for the band Korn. In an interview for the You Rock Foundation, Davis talks about his experiences dealing with anxiety, depression and recovering from trauma. He also talks briefly about his struggles with substance abuse before getting professional help and how recovery is still a work in progress.This video includes some NSFW language.
An Inviting Look at Overcoming Despair and Living with Hope
When you're living with mental illness, the world can seem like a dark and hopeless place. As a therapist, I find inspiration in the stories of resilience in not only my own clients, but in others who share with the world at large. It is this kind of sharing that helps to chip away at the crippling stigma that any of us feel when we struggle to say, "I am not okay."
This sense of despair and lack of hope is somethings that's so appropriately engaged in Dennis C. Miller's memoir, Moppin' Floors to CEO: From Hopelessness and Failure to Happiness and Success.As the title suggest, this book is an epic story of odyssean proportions. As a young man living in New Jersey, Miller struggled with an abusive father. As is often the case with children of abuse, Miller struggled with depression in his younger years, trying his best to move throughout live despite his tumultuous family life. He suffered to feel good about himself and struggled in school. Many didn't notice that he was suffering. It was the abuse that also led Miller trying to kill his father. The depression led him to hospitalization at the age of 20. This intervention, it seems, was the moment in which Miller's life changed forever.
This doesn't mean that Miller's life was without more bumps in the road. Further self-deprecation and difficulties at work are hallmarks of Miller's story. Through it all, he somehow powers his way through all life's challenges.In Moppin' Floors to CEO, Miller talks openly about his time in treatment. Throughout his life, he comes to terms with the value of therapy and credits his investment in therapy as critical to his success. He reminisces fondly of his therapists, the people who served as beacons of light throughout his various life stages. For Miller, it seems there is no place in stigma when it comes to mental health care. He has lived and reaped the benefits of engaging in therapy and he has a successful career and loving family to show for it.
The beauty in Miller's story is not just the trajectory of his life and the bumps in the road, it is also his simplicity and undeniable charm that makes Moppin' Floors to CEO such a gem. Miller's story is accessible. It is a new, untold American story that few have heard before.Through it all, the journey with Miller is an enjoyable one and the pay off is powerful. In the end pages of his incredible story, it's easy to feel the reality of a man musing about his life's work and his family. His revelations about hope and health are compelling, even when they are not explicitly expressed. Miller's voice is strikingly clear and for anyone who is seeking hope in living a full life when faced with mental illness, Miller's story is a much-needed antidote to shame and hopelessness.
You can learn more about Dennis C. Miller and his work at his website DennisCMiller.com.
4 Ways to Beat Depression Symptoms
Clinical depression can be a debilitating condition that leaves people feeling worthless and hopeless for the future, among other symptoms. According to the World Health Organization, depression affects approximately 350 million people globally. Treatment for depression often includes both talk therapy and sometimes medication as well, but there are also some lifestyle changes one can do to help alleviate their depressive symptoms.
Here are a few tips that may help you ease the impact of depression on your life.
Eat well.
And I'm not talking about dieting either. Maintaining a healthy and balanced diet that includes fresh fruits and vegetables can help you regulate your body's core functions and help foster mental agility. Simply put, healthier foods equal healthier minds. But, you should also feel free to treat yourself to a snack of dark chocolate every so often (if that's your thing) as it helps elevate one's mood. Just don't get too carried away because those extra calories and sugar may hurt you in the long run.
Stick to a schedule.
One of depression's most pervasive symptoms is a sense of fatigue or a general feeling of low energy. This may be accompanied by body pains. Often this causes people to stay in bed or sleep for extended periods of time which often creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of not feeling well. One way to help manage depression symptoms is to set a schedule and stick to it. If your commitment waivers, enlist the help of a friend or loved one to give you a phone call to check in and help keep you on track. When those bad days hit, having a steady routine and daily structure can help you power through.
Get moving!
Exercise is one of the best things you can do for your overall health and routine exercise has been found to be an effective adjunct to battling depression along with therapy and/or medication. You also get the benefits of lower blood pressure and better cardiovascular health which means you will feel better physically as well. Even an activity such as walking for a half hour each day can work wonders. And if you have ambulatory issues or are in a wheelchair, there are some chair exercises that can help keep you active. Just don't forget to consult with your primary care provider for individually tailored recommendations based on your medical history and current health status. What have you got to lose?
Develop a support network.
Depression is often a battle faced in isolation, leaving many without the necessary support and positive encouragement to tackle depression head on. Invite your loved ones into your journey by asking them to do activities with you or help hold you accountable. If your network is small at the moment, then speak with a therapist for local support groups in your area.While these tips are by no means cures to depression, these lifestyle changes can help empower you to take control of your process of healing and rediscovery.