A Psychotherapist's Surprising Reaction to Moon Knight
From time to time I like to react to mainstream conversations of mental health. As I've gone farther along in my career, I find that how we talk and see mental health in the mainstream heavily influences how we (collectively) think about mental health and how people see professional mental health support and therapy. Today, I'm going to be sharing my therapist reaction to the Disney+ show Moon Knight.
My disclaimer
First things first, I have to say that despite my name, I'm not a big comic book fan. I've only read a few in my life but appreciate them as an art form. That being said, I won't be reacting to the authenticity of the show to the source material and how graphic novels move in the culture because I'm totally ignorant to all that, just to put that out there.
A Brief Introduction to Moon Knight
That being said, when I first heard a new show called Moon Knight was going to hit Disney+ I was mildly interested - not because I knew of the source material but mostly because I've seen so many people excited about Oscar Isaac and his work (which I don't think I've seen anything of before Moon Knight, to be honest!). But, I love superhero content and WandaVision was previously a stand out for me as a mental health advocate, superhero fan, and sitcom aficionado.
So I went into Moon Knight not knowing much of anything except for the show centering on Egyptian themes and I heard some rumblings about mental health content, which always piques my interest.
As I started the watch the show in the first couple of episodes, I found it to be pretty standard superhero fare - which is to say, I liked it. There's good action sequences and the characters are very mysterious early on, which is a bit refreshing as I've seen so many characters get a million variations (see: The Batman). Isaac's performance is a great insight into this talent - especially as he switches between the troubled, but lovable Steven Grant and the mysterious mercenary Marc Spector.
*spoilers are ahead*
Moon Knight and Dissociative Identity Disorder
I recently saw Oscar Isaac on Stephen Colbert and heard him talk about the character struggling with mental illness and DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). I took a bit of issue with this in the earlier episodes especially as the relationship between Marc and Steven is framed as a connection forced by Khonshu, rather than something inherent to Steven's psyche. At least, this was my interpretation. If it's some spiritual/mythological kind of possession, it couldn't really be considered DID, right?
Well, I've just finished episode 5 titled "Asylum" and things make a lot more sense.
We learn that not only is Khonshu not responsible for the split/connection between Steven and Marc, we learn that the relationship between the two predates everything we've seen in the series so far. We learn that not only is their relationship one forged by grief and trauma (and is true DID) but we also learn that Steven is an alter (an alternate personality) and Marc is the OG personality and psyche.
*mind blown*
In the episode we witness how Marc came to develop the persona of Steven as a new way to feel fearless and grounded in his day to day life. Steven was created by Marc in response to the incredibly traumatic loss of a younger brother when he was a child and the lingering trauma of living with an abusive (and grieving) mother and a father who was, apparently, just trying to do his best. We learn that the recent breakdown of the alter/primary relationship is because Marc's mother has recently just died.
These revelations also make sense of the relationship between Marc and Layla, who early on in the series is insistent that Marc drop the act (of being his British version Steven) and explain his vanishing from her life with no explanation.
Clip source: Moon Knight via Disney+ YouTube
What Moon Knight represents well with DID
First of all, DID is very rare with prevalence hovering around .01% up to 2% worldwide according to various sources (like here and here). Here are a few things that Moon Knight seems to get right (so far):
DID is often represented by distinct personality states - although most folks have multiple alters (Jane on Doom Patrol captures this well)
Dissociative amnesia (memory loss) during episodes is common (we see this early on as Steven struggles with sleeplessness and episodes of amnesia, particularly at night)
Created personalities tend to offer places of psychic refuge and protection for the primary personality or host (Steven helps Marc avoid his traumatic past and abuse)
Healing and treatment is often marked by an attempt to integrate or balance the personalities (as referenced in the journey on the boat with Taweret in episode 5)
What comes next?
Now that the show has broken the dam, so to speak. I imagine that we won't get a lot more content or background on DID. As a therapist, especially one who appreciates shadow work, I think this episode did a great job at showing the journey from unconsciousness to consciousness and working towards integration of the different parts of self, which I think is something that most people could connect to (rather than DID, given how rare it is). We all have parts of us that we hide, consciously or unconsciously, and that impacts how we think and act. Services like shadow work help make meaning of this kind of material.
I think from here, it's likely that even though we witness the death(?) of Steven in the episode we will likely see an integration of Steven and Marc, which will allow them to get back to the superhero business at hand and prevent Harrow from fully releasing Ammit and finding some sort control in the relationship with Khonshu.
This is, of course, all speculation on my part and I have no idea what's like to come next! That's the best part of watching this kind of show. When you step into a whole new world, you never know quite what to expect. The point I love about stories (in writing, tv and film, etc.) is that maybe it affords a helpful place to think about our own stories with mental health...and be well entertained in the meantime.
Are you watching Moon Knight? What do you think of the show and its portrayal of mental illness?
Discover One Unexplored, Surprising Cost of Progress
What's the true cost of progress? Leveling up tends to bring a lot of discomfort.
It's OK to Embrace Ambition
I love determination. I appreciate ambition. I'm inspired by people who try to do their best. Maybe it's a part of the whole "American dream" that many of us are taught growing up. Maybe it's just a desire to always be continuing to improve. Maybe it's a function of never quite feeling "good enough".
Maybe it's all of the above?!
That being said, I think it's ok to strive and work hard for something we care about. I see this all the time in peers who do things like train hard for marathons, get advanced degrees, improve their business or secure the next big promotion. I think it's really cool to go after something that you want. It takes a lot of courage to be ambitious, knowing that you might stumble, or fail, and that people might also notice. It's incredibly vulnerable to be audacious.
With that, I don't think that we talk enough about the cost of embracing ambition and trying to get to the "next level."
The True Cost of Progress
We often talk a lot about all the wonderful goals, and achievements, we have especially on social media but rarely do I see people recognizing the mental health costs of progress. Progress often means much more discomfort. Of course, it feels good to make progress and get closer to goals that are meaningful to you, but I've found that even these really good moments come at the cost of peace of mind.
For some people, the discomfort of moving forward is a minimal, bearable adjustment. For others, moving up can also activate some long-held anxieties that you thought you had worked through long ago. This is something I experience when I take on a new project or learn a new skill - I consider it to be the burden of being a high-achieving student for most of my life. Always striving and always in competition with peers and myself. It's the burden of the old saying, "as long as you do your best, it'll all work out."
That means that my best (for now) has to be better than my previous best...perpetually.
Sound familiar at all?
Like most things, progress can also be a double-edged sword - making you oscillate between excitement over a new challenge and disruptive nervousness and anxiety until that thing is done. This isn't to say that either of these experiences is better than the other, perhaps they just exist as they are and we can do well for ourselves by making sure we understand the mental health cost of leveling up.
Self-Care is Not Always Instagrammable - Sometimes it's Just Banal
Self-care has been commodified by the mainstream as a “lifestyle” that’s only right if it’s complete with certain products and gadgets only afforded to those with the most resources. But self-care is so much more than that.
Self-care can Mean Doing Hard Work
Self-care isn’t only about indulging in bath bombs and other luxurious practices. Sometimes it is also very hard work. It can be doing something that you want to do that you know will bring relief (I personally love a long, warm bath to decompress) but might also look like doing things that are far less desirable. We must not forget that self-care is also all the boring, and sometimes hard, stuff that we like to forget like:
Challenging your own negative automatic thoughts
Making yourself exercise when that’s the last thing you want to do
Holding yourself accountable for your problematic behavior and making restitution
Washing your dishes, doing your laundry, etc.
Attending therapy
Scheduling your annual check ups
Doing deep introspection and shadow work
Grocery shopping
Brushing your teeth and showering regularly
Paying your monthly bills
Calling yourself out on your BS
Obviously, these things are a lot less glamorous than the gram would lead us to believe. But, they are also self-care. Not only do they remind us that self-care is self-preservation but it is also progressive. Many of these are the more day to day ways that we take care of ourselves and sometimes that means taking yourself to task.
Self-Care is Also Holding Yourself Accountable
Of course, I don’t generally advocate for people to shame themselves (or others for that matter). For most of us that doesn’t lead to substantive behavioral change. I know that for some, however, that can be motivating in small amounts.
That aside, self-care is also about keeping your word and holding yourself accountable to do the things you said you wanted to do. It’s sometimes saying to yourself, “I know you don’t want to do this but you’ve got to anyway. Let’s go!” It may also sound like, “If you continue to do what you’re doing you’re not going to get where you want to be.”
No shame. Just pragmatic and real.
So by all means, enjoy your CBD bath bombs and down time (I know I will!) but also don’t forget that sometimes showing yourself care means kicking your own butt a bit. We all need that some times.