App Spotlight: CouplesCom
CouplesCom app
In this series of posts called App Spotlight, I'll cover mobile apps that are related to mental health, wellness and healthy relationships. Today's post features CouplesCom.Many couples seek out a therapist to help them improve their way of communicating with one another. Today's featured app, CouplesCom seeks to provide a mobile solution that helps couples work together to create a healthy dialogue about their biggest concerns and issues.According to the product website, CouplesCom:
works a bit like text messaging but guides you through a set process involving active listening, validation and empathy.
Once a couple signs up for the app, they can use it to express their feelings, request changes in their partner's behavior and then provide feedback following the requested action.For couples who may have a hard time communicating effectively I see the potential helpfulness of an app like CouplesCom. It might be especially useful for couples who may be required by circumstances to spend significant time a part. That being said, there is no substitute for the support of a licensed professional. However, CouplesCom could prove to be a useful addition to traditional couples therapy, providing hard data on what happens between sessions.
You can view more about CouplesCom at their app website.
*No application is an adequate substitute for support from a trained and licensed mental health professional. Please use with discretion.
What is self-actualization?
Self-actualization was a term made popular by psychologist Abraham Maslow in his landmark paper "A Theory of Human Motivation". His theory came to be a big part of what is now known as humanistic psychology which helps inform my own personal philosophy of therapy and counseling.What is self-actualization exactly? Well, according to Maslow (1954) the term:
(It) refers to the person’s desire for self-fulfillment, namely, to the tendency for him to become actualized in what he is potentially.
You can see how this perspective differed from the traditional thinking of psychologists and psychiatrists who saw people's minds from a deficient or pathologized perspective rather than from a perspective of a potential for high self-fulfillment. Luckily, in large part, counseling has caught up to modern times.I share Maslow's concept of self-actualization because I believe it to be an interesting way to think of our own personal development. While his original hierarchy was very basic, his theory evolved over the years and began to more explicitly include psychological principles.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Here's an image representing Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:The basic theory that Maslow proposed is that one needs to meet those lower level (or base needs) before one can achieve an internal sense of peace and fulfillment in one's life. Take a good look at the image; where might you like to change things? What's blocking you from achieving the level of satisfaction and fulfillment that you desire?In case the term self-actualization still isn't clear.
Here are some examples of traits of self-actualized people courtesy of Simply Psychology (2007,2014):
They perceive reality efficiently and can tolerate uncertainty;
Accept themselves and others for what they are;
Spontaneous in thought and action;
Problem-centered (not self-centered);
Unusual sense of humor;
Able to look at life objectively;
Highly creative;
Resistant to enculturation, but not purposely unconventional;
Concerned for the welfare of humanity;
Capable of deep appreciation of basic life-experience;
Establish deep satisfying interpersonal relationships with a few people;
Peak experiences;
Need for privacy;
Democratic attitudes;
Strong moral/ethical standards.
Does that sound like you? If not, perhaps taking some time to reflect or journal on what aspects you'd like to foster within yourself could be helpful. It goes without saying that these specific traits are not to everyone's tastes or desires, but they can be helpful in your exploration of what changes you may want to make in your life.
6 Signs it's time to See a Therapist
Some people think it may be obvious when someone needs extra support in terms of therapy or professional counseling, but sometimes it isn't always so clear. Below are a list of signs that may indicate it might be time to pick up the phone and call a local therapist:
Your loved one suggests it
Loved ones or family members can be crucial in helping their loved one get the support they need. Others perspectives of us can be very helpful in identifying patterns of behavior or other issues that we may not be seeing ourselves. If you're a loved one and want to speak to your partner, friend or family member about seeking professional counseling, be sure to speak from a place of concern and use "I statements" to help soften the blow. Hearing that kind of feedback can be tough so always try to take a sympathetic stance when expressing your concerns.
You find yourself more forgetful or confused
When faced with extreme stress, depression or a host of other circumstances, frequent forgetfulness and confusion are indicators that there may be too much going on for you at the moment. This could come in the form of forgetting to pick up your kids from school or something as small as not remembering the items you needed to pick up at the grocery store. If you find yourself routinely falling into this new pattern, then it might be time to get some help.
You're having problems at work
Have you recently been written up after being thought of as a "good employee"? Do you find yourself unmotivated to complete your assigned tasks? Do you keep missing deadlines? All of these are indications that your circumstances might be getting the best of you.
Your relationships are suffering
If you find yourself arguing with your partner more often or feeling disconnected from your children or family, then it might be time to speak to a professional. If you're single, are you unhappy with your dating or sexual life? Then it might be time to get help. A professional can lend a supportive ear and help guide you in creating better relationships or maintaining those you wish to hold on to. Working with a therapist can help you explore your behaviors, patterns and come up with concrete strategies that you can try to take an empowered approach to your relationships.
Your finances are off
If you're having trouble managing your money suddenly, then therapy might be a good fit. Are you gambling money away or racking up credit card debt due to shopping sprees here and there? Are you not paying your rent or mortgage on time? These are serious signs that you may need the support of a professional to help you manage before things really get out of control.
You don't feel well
You are the expert of your own mind and body. If you find yourself feeling "off" lately, then therapy is likely a good fit for you. Everything from ongoing fatigue to excessive worry and feeling "stuck" are all good indicators that a new intervention is needed. It might be time to switch it up! Find a therapist who can help guide you into a new way of being.
While this is not an exhaustive list by any means, I hope this list has armed you with the knowledge of some of the indicators that counseling or therapy might be a good fit for you. Counseling isn't just reserved for extreme situations or illnesses, it can be helpful to all of us. There's no shame in reaching out and getting some extra support as you work through some of life's challenges. We all need that from time to time. And you never know, it may turn out to be the best decision you've ever made for yourself.
Contact Viva if you are interested in getting started with therapy.
Suicide Statistics at a Glance
Suicide can be seen as a very final solution to a temporary problem. The difficulty in coping with depression and suicidal thinking is that it's hopelessness can have such a firm grip on a person it may be difficult to overcome.While many people don't take steps to attempt suicide, thoughts of suicide are more common than one might think. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention's statistics published in 2010:
8.3 million U.S. adults reported having suicidal thoughts in 2008-2009
2.2 million adults reported having made plans in that year
A staggering 1 million adults reported a suicide attempt that year
Youth also struggle with thoughts of suicide:
15.8% of youths reported seriously considering suicide in the previous 12 months (published in 2011)
7.8% reported they had attempted suicide one or more times in the previous year
And 2.4% of those high schoolers reported an attempt that required medical attention
Given the prevalence of suicidal thinking in our society, it is imperative that everyone educates themselves on the warnings signs of suicidal thoughts and behavior.
Below are some resources that you may find useful:
Suicide Warning Signs (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline)
The Warning Signs (The Trevor Project)
Suicide Prevention (HelpGuide.org)
Preventing Youth Suicide: Tips for Parents and Educators (National Association of School Psychologists)
App Spotlight: Sleep Bug
In this series of posts called App Spotlight, I'll cover mobile apps that are related to mental health, wellness and healthy relationships. Today's post features Sleep Bug.These days, pretty much everyone has a hard time relaxing. With work, family and social responsibilities it can be challenging to find even just a few minutes to relax. That's why I always appreciate finding a solid app that can help me re-center and get a little break during the day.
Sleep Bug is a sound mixing app that offers the user a variety of environmental soundscapes. The great thing about Sleep Bug is that is also lets the user have a fair amount of control. Each soundscape also features the ability to add or subtract other sounds elements such as birds, wind, chimes, etc. Each soundscape offers elements that you might naturally find in that particular environment.The free version of Sleep Bug offers the user 12 soundscapes:
Beach - with waves, chimes, birds and a horn
Music Box - offers a guitar, piano, bells and birds
Zen - feature chants, bamboo, drum and strings
Zen Garden - with bamboo, drum and strings
River - features wind, lightning, frogs, insects and birds
Forest - with wolves, birds, and music beats
Jungle - with parrots, drums, monkeys, frogs and tigers
Classical - features string instruments and drums
Fire - burning wood, lightning, wind, and owls
Waterfall - with streams, birds and rustling trees
Weather - features wind, rain and lightning
Lullaby - with waves, birds and chimes
If users want to upgrade for the paid version, it features 12 other soundscapes to chose from:
Horror
City
Clock
Dreams
Train
Sci-fi
Airport
Outback
Winter
White Noise
Underwater
Dark Drone
In addition to the soundscapes, Sleep Bug offers an easy to use interface which includes high quality images to represent each environment. The app also offers the handy feature of a timer which can be used for sleep or as an aide to help in mindfulness meditation. The app's software also allows it to run in the background on your device so that you can go on to pay attention to other tasks if you absolutely need to but I wouldn't advise that. The whole purpose is to take a break, right?
If you are having trouble sleeping and have access to the technology, Sleep Bug can be a very helpful tool. If you suffer from insomnia or nighttime anxiety, this app lets you control your environment and set a sleep timer to ensure that you don't drain your device's battery all night long. In addition, business users can use it for an in office noise maker and you can use it as a quick aid for daily meditation.
*No application is an adequate substitute for support from a trained and licensed mental health professional. Please use with discretion.