The Breakfast Club Talks Mental Health

Recently, the radio hosts of the Breakfast Club hosted a discussion on their morning show about mental health issues, particularly in the Black community. They were joined by Dr. Kendall Jasper, a clinical psychologist who practices in North Carolina and Rwenshaun Miller, a mental wellness advocate, coach and founder of Eustress, Inc.In the interview below Jasper and Miller (along with Charlamagne, Angela Yee and DJ Envy) talk about symptoms that someone may be struggling, the stigma around mental health and paths to recovery. Miller also shares much of his personal story as well. It's a great discussion, and one that is all too infrequent, particularly in Black communities.  Check it out below.

Redefining Help: How to Become an Effective Caregiver

There are many different ways to become an effective caregiver. When it comes to supporting someone with mental health issues like anxiety or depression help can take on many different forms. There is no one right way to offer support to someone who may be suffering. But, there are some basic ideas to keep in mind if you're trying your best to help someone that you care about.

Presence and persistence are key

If you have ever suffered with depression or anxiety, then you may know how pervasive and debilitating these conditions can be.  They are persistent and insidious. They often turn seemingly innocuous comments or questions into backhanded slights. Everyday tasks can turn into burdensome or debilitating events. Anxiety and depression can leave you overwrought with frustration and agitation. If someone you love is going through this, don't give up. Do your best to out live and out run their diagnosis. Your persistence in being there will be incredibly healing.

Deal with your own emotions and fight caregiver burnout

One of the most difficult parts of supporting someone who may be dealing with mental health issues, especially someone that you are close to, is that it can also have an emotionally draining impact on you as a caregiver.Being close to someone coping with mental health issues is tough, especially when you are there, day in and day out, doing what you can to offer your support. At times you may feel frustrated that they aren't quite able to get better or take the steps you feel are necessary for their health and recovery. Sometimes this can lead to feelings of anger and resentment. And it goes without saying that it is tremendously difficult to continue to see someone you love suffer. It's a special kind of emotional torture, in a way.Because emotionally supporting someone can be so tough, many caregivers struggle with "burnout", often referred to as compassion fatigue in the psychological community. As a caregiver, make sure that you are practicing emotional awareness and good self care as much as possible. This will also help you continue to offer the best support to your loved one that you can.

Focus more on the person & less on the "problem"

It is a noble cause to help rid a loved one of their anxiety or depression and it's hard to watch someone you love suffer. It's always wise to share resources and offer practical strategies to help alleviate their suffering. However, it is with a word of caution that I encourage you to focus less on the problem (i.e. the anxious or depressive feelings) and focus more on the person themselves. Show them that you care about them and not just their condition or illness. Don't only talk about their difficulties but show up as you would for any other friend or loved one.Have fun dates together. Go to amusement parks. Join a book club together. Break bread. Show them that your relationship with them is greater than any difficulty they may be facing. This kind of support and just 'being there' can be an incredibly strong source of energy and support that your loved one may need in their recovery.Often, in our lives, we can get very busy and bogged down with the details of everyday life. When you're close to someone who is struggling with mental health issues, it can be difficult to find your way in providing support while also taking care of your other daily responsibilities. It is important to remember, no matter how bad things may get, that there are things that you can do to continue offering your care and compassion. Helping isn't one easily identifiable strategy. I hope that these thoughts will help you do what you can to help support both yourself and a loved one as you continue to move forward in your journeys together. 

Lady Gaga Speaks to Prince William About Mental Health Stigma

Stigma is one of the biggest mental health concerns of our time.Stigma, negative judgement and perception of being 'broken' are all things I hear from clients as barriers they faced when they finally make it into therapy.  The more that we can put mental health on par with physical health, and see the two as inextricably linked, the better we equip people with the courage to obtain the professional support they need.I'm so grateful to have come across this conversation between Lady Gaga, one of the world's most famous performers, and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, as they talk about the importance of emotional health. The Royal Family's younger generation has taken up the task of eradicating stigma with their Heads Together initiative and it has produced some worthwhile conversations, such as this one.You can watch the fascinating call between the two below.

What does it mean to be sex positive?

I was having a discussion with some colleagues recently about how we communicate with clients about our own comfort in talking about sex and sexuality issues in counseling. I said that I considered myself to be a therapist that is, "sex positive, kink positive, LGBTQ and poly affirming.

"But what does that really mean?

Being sex positive isn't about having a healthy dose of enthusiasm for sex, but more so about adopting a perspective that is affirming of diverse and individual forms of sex and sexuality. That is, where  traditional notions of sexuality are about controlling behavior through shame, judgment and perhaps guilt, being sex positive means operating from an entirely different lens. It means affirming an individual's right to enjoy the kind of sex they're having, who they're having it with and however frequent feels right for them.  That is, as long as that sexuality is between consenting parties (legally, ethically and morally).

Being sex positive means affirming the various ways in which people enjoy expressing themselves through their sexuality. In essence, sex positive reinforces each individual's right to self-determine what works for them sexually.

As a therapist, this means that I approach each client's sexuality with an open mind. Instead of inducing shame, it's about helping clients get the most out of their sex lives while minimizing any concerns or negative consequences. Often, this includes helping couples figure out ways to rekindle their sexual lives and helping individuals become more comfortable in owning their desires and attractions.

Many of us have been taught that sex and sexuality are things that we should feel shame about.  Sex positivity isn't about being pro sex but more so about reducing that shame and stigma so that whether you are highly sexual or asexual, you find the best way to make your sexuality work for you.

Korn frontman Jonathan Davis on His Mental Health & Recovery

"It does get better. It takes time." - Jonathan DavisThose are the words of musician Jonathan Davis, known as the frontman for the band Korn. In an interview for the You Rock Foundation, Davis talks about his experiences dealing with anxiety, depression and recovering from trauma.  He also talks briefly about his struggles with substance abuse before getting professional help and how recovery is still a work in progress.This video includes some NSFW language.